From snow to sunshine

What a difference in just over a week.....

Mark in snow on 31 March on the West Highland Way outside Drymen to.....

Geraldine in the sunshine walking up Arthur's

seat in Edinburgh yesterday...

The weather is not the only difference. I am feeling a lot better about the FT (failed trip) and this has a lot to do with the unbelievable love and support that everyone has shown me. Comments on my blog, texts and words of comfort from work colleagues have really helped me. Today, I was blown away by the generosity and kindness of George Reid. George and Karen made up charity boxes that were at registration at the D33 ultra race(http://deesidewayultra.webnode.com/) plus the proceeds of the race were donated. This donation of over £200 means that Chest, Heart and Stroke Scotland are going to receive over £1,000 in sponsorship in memory of Dario.

I am so touched but I am not surprised as George is an amazing, wonderful person who I am honoured to call a close friend. When I get down about not getting to Fort William and beat myself up over it, I think about what a waste of time and energy that is and instead I should spend my time thinking about how lucky I am to have people like George in my life.

That is the one lasting legacy of Dario and the thing I am very thankful for, is the kind and loving band of people he introduced me to. Ultrarunning has made me lucky enough to meet people like George and Karen, Ian and Ally, Tim and Muriel, Dave and Lee, Jez, Lucy, Ritchie, Keith, Norm, Ellen and Murdo, Stan the man, the list goes on and on of wonderful, lovely people whose path it would have been very unlikely I would have passed as we all live in different parts of the country, varying ages, work in a range of areas and mix in an assortment of social groups. That is what I love about ultra running is that your background does not matter, where you go to work on a Monday does not come into it, what counts is whether you can run over 26.2 miles, make the soup not too hot or cold and bang on schedule or know how to man a checkpoint....

Since my thighs were one of my major problems on the FT, I joined Bannatynes gym. My membership allows me to use any Bannatynes gym in Scotland so I have no excuse not to go when I am at Mark's. However, my signing up has met with signs of frustration from Mr H himself. Mark seems to be distressed that I was at Aqua aerobics on Thursday night, and he is concerned about how I will get to the finish line of the Dingle marathon in September splashing about at what he thinks should not even be called an exercise class. He does have a point but I am intending to only use Aqua as a low impact fun way to loosen up the limbs on a Thursday night.

Talking of the marathon Mark has been suggesting weekly mileages that I should be reaching between now and the 4th September - the big day. Now what I am debating about is using this blog in a JK style (http://www.johnkynaston.com/), that is record what I intend to run and write up a post run report. I will not be producing graphs as that is far too technical for me but JK is a successful runner so maybe his public training diary is the way forward. I am wondering whether the miles being published will motivate me to run as I do not want to have publish a post full of excuses. I do find it hard to go out running. This is partly because it hurts but also because I hate the fact that I am not running hard and long. Any motivational tips are very welcome plus any suggestions on how to use this blog to get over the finish line in Dingle before Mark drinks all the Guinness

Video Evidence

Before Conic Hill

On Conic Hill

After Conic Hill

Broken by the WHW

I was hoping to update this blog about my walk on the West Highland way but instead this post is going to be about how just 27 miles of the route broke me. I am writing this in Prestwick after having to be rescued from Rowardennan by my parents. I have let myself, all the kind people who have donated funds but worst of all I have let Dario down.

The physical pain is bad and I am a in a bit of a mess but it is nothing to how awful I feel for not getting to Fort William. I still can't quite believe that I only survived 27 miles of a route that thousands of people walk every year and that many of my close friends run in under a day.

The weather warnings on Tuesday were for severe weather but our route for the Wednesday from Milngavie to Balmaha seemed to be not affected by the worst weather forecast. Layers and waterproofs were in the rucksacks so off we went on the Wednesday. We got the 6am train from Prestwick and arrived at Milngavie to start at 8am. I was in a good mood and off we went. The walk to Drymen went well, we talked as we walked and I was even doing a little dance as we past the Beech Tree as I was listening to my Glee soundtrack. We walked through the car park at Drymen and up along the road, as we turned left up the path I felt and heard a squelch from my left foot heel. Mark sat me down and removed my walking boots. A huge blister had popped on my heel. Mark applied a dressing while I had my first blub of the day. I was concerned that only 12 miles in, my feet were already looking a bit of a mess, unaware that blisters were soon to be the least of my problems. So, after my blister had been sorted and a cuddle from Mark we set off up the incline.

As we made our way towards Conic hill and our destination for the night - Balmaha, the snow started to become an issue. My thighs were feeling very tight and very sore and I was struggling to lift my feet up more than an inch. As the incline increased and the snow deepened this was becoming a real problem. We went through the forest but with the up and downs and my feet sliding all over the terrain I was starting to feel a bit down about everything. We passed a man walking from the direction of Conic Hill who explained that there was a gale force wind at the top of Conic but if we just kept plodding we should be okay. Well, that was it for me. I was sore, tired and physically struggling and that news bulletin just brought on the second blub of the day. Mark tried to help but I said just let me have a little cry and I should be okay. Mark asked if I wanted to turn back but that was not an option I wanted to even consider. After the blub I did feel a little better if not a bit of a twat for blubbing in the first place. So I dug in and continued through the snow and onwards to Conic hill.

After what seemed a very long time and a feeling that the route took you a very long winding way to the hill that seemed just over the corner we entered a field. This is when it went wrong for me. Mark fell almost as soon as he got into the field as the snow was knee deep. I was immediately concerned as we were in the middle of nowhere with no-one around for miles and all we could see was snow. Mark made his way up the hill, every so often his legs disappearing and shouts of watch out. I could barely lift my legs so wading through the deep snow uncertain of every step was making me begin to panic. It felt for every step I took it was taking the energy of five. By the time I fell for the third time I just lost it and yes, you guessed it, I blubbed. The realisation that I was in the middle of a snow covered field in the middle of nowhere with no-one knowing where we were and neither of us with snow survival skills was almost too much. I felt claustrophobic which seems a strange given that I was so isolated, but it was that feeling of no control, that feeling that I was physically weak and that sense of fear of how am I going to make it.

Mark said that we needed to move as we were risking getting cold. I got up and thought there is no way we are going to make it. If this is what it is like in a field what is Conic hill going to be like at how many feet above sea level. As I struggled to move my legs and every so often feeling the pain in my injured knee for twisting trying not to fall in the snow, I started to think that maybe this is it. I wanted to call my parents to say goodbye but I could not get to my phone. In hindsight that was a good thing as my Mum would have had a breakdown and called every rescue team in the country.

I started to think about the impact I have made with my life. If this was my last day, what difference have I made? I started to think about what would be said about me at my funeral. I was expecting to be challenged on the route, not to be reflecting on my life. As I sit here writing this, it is making me think about what the experience has thought me. Currently, I am in a very negative place and feel the attempt to walk the route has highlighted that I am a physically and emotionally weak person who does not deserve the love and support that I have be shown by my parents and Mark and all my close friends such as Sean, Adrian, Ian, Karen, Lee and Dave, George, Keith, Ken and Tim who were texting throughout the day with messages of good luck.

When I decided to call it a day at Rowardennan, I texted Sean to tell him and he immediately called me. Sean was greeted with a hello and then me blubbing. Sean told me that I was not to beat myself up; that Dario would have said well done just for getting as far as I did in the conditions. I am still struggling to accept that. I feel that I have really let Dario down. I wanted to finish the route in his honour but instead I was a physical mess having to be call it a day after only 27 miles. The snow just beat me. I am not a fit person. The toughest physical test I have done in years is the Strathaven 10K race last November. As race control since 2002, I have seen hundreds of runners undertake the route in one go so I am more than aware of the severity of the route but I never predicted its sheer brutality when the weather turns. I was unprepared and physically inadequate for the route and that is how I feel I have really let Dario down.

So, as I sit here with blisters all over my feet, about to lose two toenails, my ankle swollen, my injured knee sore and legs that ache even when I am lying down and barely able to move, I know it was the right decision as it would have been dangerous to continue and there was no way I would have made it to Fort William by Sunday but I know it is going to take a long time to get over the disappointment. Mark has already offered to walk with me again whenever I want to but right now I just want to try to come to terms with what I failed to do in memory of a dear friend.

Bag is packed.....

....for the Epic journey!!!! The weather on the WHW does not look good. Snow and high windchill forecast but hey ho I have packed thermal long johns and enough Nutri grain bars to last three weeks!!

Today, Mark and I have been relaxing, watching some tv and finishing off the packing. I have also spent today loading up my new Sony walkman that I got from sony with my sony credit card points - who said that shopping does not bring rewards.

I have downloaded or uploaded or whatever the tech term is a selection of audio books, radio shows and music. The music selection is quite random. I put on the Glee soundtrack, my running folder but I have also raided Mark's music selection so I will get to sample the delights of everything from ACDC to classical. I am hoping that when it is cold and wet and the next stop seems a lifetime away that the music will help. However, I think the biggest incentive to keep moving will be the £655 that I have raised for Chest, Heart and Stroke Scotland. Coupled with the gift aid that amounts to over £800 to the charity in honour of Dario. Thank you so much to everyone for the kind donations.

Anyway, I am away to feast on the sticky pork ribs that I have prepared as my last supper before that pain of blisters results in me being too sore to make to the pub to eat for the next five nights........

Gx

it has been a while.....

.....to say the least

I am a bit rubbish at the blogging thing

However, I have decided I better get with the programme so I can hopefully update my blog as I stumble, curse and pray my way along the WHW next week.

Yes, the Easter bunny is getting his glad rags on so that means that my walk in memory of Dario is just a few days away. Now I would like to say that I am fully prepared and the training has gone well, but well, that would be basically lies.

Prep commenced last night along with a trip to Tiso tonight for those little plastic bottles in a pathetic attempt to smuggle more toiletries into the rucksack that Mark is going to be carrying. he decided he should take most of the weight so we might be able to complete our miles for the day in the daylight!

Training has been well, it hasn't been. Yes, I am going to tackle 95 miles in 5 days with the only walking experience being around about 2 hours walk when I bought the boots last year. Still I am nothing but consistent at leaving everything to the last minute. It was the same approach to school exams, uni exams, work exams and now any sporting event I sign up for it. So far I have passed and finished everything so hopefully my determination not to let Dario down will get me through.

I have been thinking a lot about Dario this last week or so. Driving back from Prestwick the other week tears streamed down my face as I kept thinking I should be walking the route with him, not for him. I know it is nearly a year but I still want to scream at the unfairness of it. They say time heals but while I think it does help you cope better, the actual hurt at the loss never goes away.

However, Dario would not want me to get down about him but to enjoy myself. Just last weekend I thought he would appreciate yet another typical Geraldine escapade. As some of you may be aware I very badly injured my knee a couple of years ago, as in off work for months and help to go to the bathroom type injury. Since then there has been a few relapses, one just before Xmas so you would think this would have made me step away from the high heels, cava and dancing while spending the weekend in Madrid. No, once a few glasses of the bubbles hit and the music played I was straight onto the dancefloor, quite literally on the dancefloor!!!! Despite the naughty grape juice I still had the presence of mind to fall directly onto my knee rather than risk twisting it by trying to save it. Once I was up, I was straight back to the hotel for ice, rest and elevation.

It is very sore but the physio has looked at it and it appears no structural or ligament damage so I am still on the walk. I will be enjoying the view while taking over the counter drugs and trying to ignore Mark telling me that a sore knee is nothing (if you do not know what this refers to please view http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OZbmGcft4M )

During the walk I will attempt the power of technology and try and provide updates and photos via this blog but I suspect it will probably be Mark providing the updates as I will be crying too much from the blisters to even speak. Although, and this is for you Debs MC, I will be listening to the Glee soundtrack so may find myself singing and dancing up the route!!!!

Donations are still welcome at http://www.justgiving.com/whwr-princess

Gx

a glimpse of runner high...

well I think that is what I was feeling as I ran home from work tonight. Today was my first run following my 10K on Sunday as it was the first day I did not feel like a 90 year granny everytime I stood up. Too high on making it to the finish line on Sunday and hurling abuse at Pirate boy for his trade description act text I forgot to stretch and my legs complained!!

Unfortunately, i didn't get finish work until 6 so I headed out onto the streets of Edinburgh in the dark. My head torch was being very useful sitting in my kitchen!!

My chest and legs moaned when I started off but by the time I was through the cowgate and heading to the park I started to feel quite good, dare I suggest I was enjoying myself! Holyrood park was pitch black apart from the passing cars so I was glad that I know that section quite well otherwise the runners high would have been squelched with a sore knee. By the time I was heading down Jock's lodge near my pad I was truly sampling the runners high I have heard so much about and I was flying down the hill.

Tonight was only a short run to get the legs loosen up. On Friday I am meeting up with Ken at lunchtime to go for a short run and talk about a potential Fling relay team - OMG, OMG.

Yes, not only do I sign up for marathons with only a couple of 5k's under my belt I am now trying to gather a relay team for a off road run of at least 12 miles in April. So far Ken is keen and Stan the man is up for it. I have emailed the fourth member but until she confirms I will keep her a secret or if she says no advertise the position on this blog and race forums.

I blame this crazy, impulsive running ambitions on my Moon boots. My moon boots are my new and rather lovely Salomon Quest 4D GTX walking boots that I purchased from the very patient Tiso store in Edinburgh. They are the business.

The moon boots were taken out last weekend when Mark and I joined our friends JP and Marieanne who rented a cottage in Glencoe for the week. Headed up on the Thursday afternoon with a quick stop at Bridge of Orchy so I could stomp around in the Moon boots then out for dinner to Loch Leven seafood cafe followed by drinkies at Clahaig with music by the Ghosties. Top day.

On the Friday we headed to the Devil's staircase. The rain was on but I was kitted out in paclite Berghaus waterproof jacket and trousers plus the Moon Boots. I was nervous. It was only 6 miles but it was the Devil's staircase. So we head on out and I am finding it okay, the Moon boots make me feel safe so I follow the pack and at times stopped to enjoy the view. After 30 minutes Mark and JP are waiting for Marieann and I to catch up when Mark tells me this is it. I ask what is it? we are at the top of the Devil's staircase. I do not believe him, and this goes to and forth for at least 5 minutes. I can't believe I got to the top without having to call medical support. Given the reports I have heard I had visions of having to crawl up the staircase however, by the time Easter comes along I will be carrying a pack, been on my feet for four days and 70 odd miles in my legs - I will not be thinking the Devil is so gentle then!!!

Friday night was the boys heading to Clahaig to test the pints of beer to pool quality playing or something like that while Marieann and I shared a bottle of champers I got for my 30th and watched the Mamma Mia film. Cheesy but fun to watch. Dinner and drinks followed in the Clahaig.

Sunday was the Strathaven 10K

All in all it has been a top week for me and I am a happy bunny

Stan the man

thank you so much for getting me to the finish line of my first 10K in 1 hour 7 minutes!!

Run with the wind in Strathaven was a top notch running event but it was not all downhill and a piece of piss as quoted to me by pirate boy http://subversive-running.blogspot.com/

The route did have a few inclines which unfortunately I did walk some of but it was a very cold and wet day.

Soup and a sandwich afterwards plus a catch up with Ian Beattie, Sharon Law, Tim Downie ( who was a brilliant support - thanks Tim) , the lovely Lee and pirate boy. A good day.

Mark was roped into marshalling and it did seem strange for me to be wearing the runner number and him in a bright yellow marshall top but hey sometimes it is refreshing to do something different.

Anyway I am away to eat a lovely big dinner as I have been running today - oh I quite like the sound of that!!!